Leap or Don't Even Jump at All

                                      "Leap or don’t even jump at all "

          

         Commitment to one person you love for the rest of your life seems irrational, are we psychics? How can we look into the future and know for sure you’ll love that person 60 years from now?  We constantly are changing; we are always becoming a new person, so how do you change with someone else? I believe Marriage is a leap of faith, romance is still alive, but it just takes a certain type of person to pursue commitment. Marriage is still relevant today; it’s just no longer a must. Human Dynamics, economy, and individual circumstances all play a role in the idea of marriage.

 You fight for what you want in life, someone who knows what he or she wants will keep fighting till the end. That’s why I believe marriage is still appealing, it’s not for everyone, however for those with headstrong ways will love and love hard. Marriage is beautiful, it means you found someone who knows you in and out, and loves you for everything you are. Why would you not want that person by your side once you’re old and grey?

Us as humans are social creatures, we seek out companionship, love, and physical contact. A kiss, a soft breathe, these mean so much more when it’s your man or woman against you. Kissing someone isn’t so appealing when you know they might have kissed someone else but 1 hour before you. Marriage gives us comfort and stability; the principles are nothing but good, so why do some people fear marriage? Its true, a lifelong relationship is a bit scary, however that’s why you don’t commit until later in life. There’s no rush, its not like old times when you get married right after high school, women don’t need men as supporters anymore either.

Marriage is definitely not what it used to be, its no longer based on religion or gender, but it’s only a legal documentation now. However, the benefits are rather pleasing, and if you are planning on being together for the rest of your lives, you might as well. I guess its true, you don’t need marriage to commit to someone forever, and for some people it’s just not necessary. The thing about marriage now, is that its no longer expected, if you meet a 35-year-old man who is single, its not surprising.  No one is forced into commitment, and marriage is optional. Before, it was expected of women to marry, men needed wives to keep up to social standard as well, everyone started at such an early age. Now, those who want it, can get it when they want it, there’s no pressure.

As far as monogamy goes, I believe it isn’t healthy to only be with one person through life, that’s why I believe some people aren’t very happy in marriage. You have to get to know different people, and options, compatibility, how would you know what’s good or bad if you only stayed on one side of the street?  I say date, meet new people, but once you found Mr or Mrs right, commit and be faithful till the end.

 I think its wrong to compare us with animal relations when it comes to monogamy (in reference to Kayt Sukels Essay), I know we are animals too however we are so much more complex. We may not be built for monogamy, however we are certainly in no shape for open intimacy. We have feelings far more complex then animals, jealousy is by far the strongest one.  I don’t think its possible to be in a relationship and love someone knowing that they are free to get physical with someone else, and honestly if you love someone enough I don’t think there’s the urge to be with anyone else.  How would you confide in anyone anymore? Marriage and commitment plays far more in our culture then we think I believe. It makes structure, and boundaries with one another.  It makes us feel safe, and gives stability. Could you imagine living in a world like Prairie Voles? One day your husband comes home and tells you the neighbor is having his kid too.

Being committed to someone proves we aren’t alone in this world, having a partner in crime is important because it gives you support and foundation. However we don’t live in a perfect world, and marriage doesn’t work always, but I couldn’t imagine living in a world without the idea of monogamy. As a little girl the idea of a Prince in shinning armor would loose its meaning, looking into the eyes of the person you love wouldn’t be the same knowing their eyes will look back into someone else’s eyes. Just witnessing Hippie communes back in the 60’s, and the idea of free love, showed that humans aren’t really built for open relationships; the dynamic doesn’t necessarily work.

Even temporary marriage seems oddly uncomforting, why would you even bother to get married in the first place? It would be like putting an expiration date on love, but then again, I guess it’s only the legal side of commitment. Marriage is a part of our culture, it built a good foundation and morals to live by, and I think it’s really important to keep it. It also serves purpose for the youth, to see and learn from two parents in love definitely shows to improve a child’s development, and learn good morals along with it. Little girls fantasy’s of white dresses, and walking down the isle should always be a dream, it just is a matter of when, why, and who. Once you find that right person, don’t ever give them up.  True love exists, and marriage makes it known. I think a lot of people give it a bad wrap now days, but it changes with time, however I think it’s important to our culture. Who knows, marriage might turn to mean something else in a decade, maybe it will change with gay marriage. Nonetheless, I say leap or don’t even jump at all.