We Bend

                                                                  

It’s strange how the structure of families can easily bend and the idea of what an American family is evolves with each era.  For example, beforehand a family was the same through life, there was a mom, a dad and a child, or two; nothing much changed until the children went off to college.  In today’s world, there are single moms, single dads, divorce and same sex parents.

             My family has certainly morphed and changed since the beginning. My parents started as an all American family, they bought a little house with a white picket fence, on a little street called cozy croft.  They had me, and then four years later they had my brother.  Years passed with ease, my mother had an art business in addition to being a stay at home mom and my dad was an electrician. Meanwhile I was attending a Lutheran school and my brother was placed in a daycare from time to time.  Picture perfect, right?

            Well then time went on and my mom and dad started facing financial issues. This wasn’t the only issue, L.A. was proving to be a dark place to raise a family and my parents wanted more for us. Since they had to get rid of our house anyway, they had made the decision to move to Hawaii. Hawaii’s house market was low at the time and as a wedding gift my grandma had bought them a piece of land there as well. So a leap of faith was taken and we left the only life we had ever known, across the ocean onto a little floating rock surrounded by water.  

            Life in Hawaii was hard at first and a bit scary. Luckily my grandparents had moved over with us, so they helped a lot. Our house was definitely different then I was used to, it was a small house on stilts with a large yard, with lots of greenery and just a walk to the ocean! Things were great honestly; my childhood was sunny, full of smiles and sand.  Oh, and lots of cats.

            However, when I was about to begin high school our family dynamic changed. My parents never saw each other because of my dad’s work schedule, and things fell apart. Then, the death of my grandfather affected us all immensely. My parents then got a divorce.

 The divorce was painful, and lasted about three years to finalize.  The worst part was when my dad lived upstairs and my mom had to live down stairs. They could be in the same room together without hell breaking loose, which was difficult because the kitchen was upstairs, and the computer room and laundry room was downstairs.

            Finally the house was sold and with it I felt like my childhood was forced to a close.  I think I knew that was my final goodbye to childhood, with the last shut of my front door.  I experienced so much in that house, so much stability and security, which was then swiped from under me.

            Nonetheless, I was surprised how different my parents were a part from one another. They were like new people, much happier. I got to see my parents as people for the first time, which was a weird thing to me.  My parents weren’t my hero’s anymore, they cried and struggled just like the rest of the world; they were human now.

            As things progressed, things seemed to get better and better. After graduation I moved away for a year with my boyfriend to another island. After a year, my mom and I decided it was time to leave the island.  Now my mom and I live here in Oxnard, she lives with her best friend and I live with my boyfriend, but we are only 10 minutes away. 

            It’s strange to look back before we moved to Hawaii; we went as a whole and then left in pieces. However, I think my family is now stronger in pieces.  It’s extremely hard, don’t get me wrong, but everyone seems to be looking for their own thing now. It’s weird, because my parents no longer talk and I don’t get to see my brother, dad and grandma as much as I would like to anymore, but no matter what we will always be a family.  This is what my family is and I am very proud of what I have.